a Woman’s Guide To Dating Herself: Valentine’s Day Witchcraft
Let’s get real: Valentine’s Day is just a Hallmark holiday for brands and corporations to sell overpriced chocolates and tacky jewelry to the public, trapping them in a consumption mindset designed to psychologically equate love and affection with purchasing goods.
Haha, I mean, its the holiday of love! Stupid auto-correct.
Just kidding. I said what I said, and you know its true.
But just because capitalism loves to make us feel like garbage for not participating in consumerism (or just wanting to spend the day solo), it doesn’t mean we have to play along. Instead, why not make this Valentine’s Day about you? Stick it to the man. A witches Valentine’s Day.
While Valentine’s Day is not a part of the wheel of the year, it does have its counterpart: Lupercalia, the violent roman celebration that is considered its precursor. Sidebar: Though it was abolished in the fifth century, it is an interesting part of pagan history, and I encourage you to read about it.
As a witch, herbalist, and lover of all things magical, I say ditch the pressure to perform for someone else and turn this day into a celebration of self-love. Whether you’re single, avoiding bad vibes, or just need some time to recharge your inner magic, here’s a list of solo date ideas to make your Valentine’s Day unapologetically and 100% about you.
And they do not require you to be single, but feel free to leave your significant other out if you want to. There is nothing wrong with doing something just for you.
enchant your space
Spend some time cleansing and decorating your space.
Light sage or palo santo (if it’s ethically sourced) or use sound cleansing with a bell. Make sure you have a clean and open palate to start with, as with most energy work.
Gather your power, focused in the center of your chest. Let it disperse throughout your body and back into the ground once done, leaving you feeling light and electric.
Then, set up a mini altar dedicated to yourself. This is all about you baby, so whatever you want. Add rose quartz, a candle in your favorite color, and anything that feels like it represents your power. There are no rules for this – only that it aligns with you.
Once your space feels cozy and sacred, sit there and bask in it. You’ve successfully cultivated an energetic hub, attuned specifically to you and you alone.
pull some cards for yourself
Now that your space is well and truly yours, lets whip out that tarot deck.
We are going to do a spread focused on self love.
This doesn’t just mean asking “what are the best parts about me”. Tarot is a strong divination tool, and can provide insight that is lost to us on our own. Use this as an opportunity to ask harder questions.
- What do I need to nurture in myself?
- What’s blocking my self-love?
- How can I show up for myself more?
Pull the cards, light some incense, and let the answers come through. Whatever your normal ritual is!
Whatever you pull is going to be good for you – remember that. Even if you pull something confusing like the Eight of Cups, roll with it.
Tarot always has your back, even if it’s a little cryptic sometimes.
walk in nature like the forest dweller you are
Time to return to our roots – nature.
Put on your coziest boots to ward off that February chill and go for a walk in the woods, or your favorite park. My local park is beautiful at night, and the rhododendron gardens possess an incredible air when the sun has set.
Sidebar: I like to do rituals in the woods. This year I picked up a special little thing just for me – a small altar from Mystic Convergence, one I can take with me amongst the trees. I had a basic, tv-dinnerish one before, but my new one is gorgeous. If you have something like this, take it with you, and do the next ritual out there, during your walk.
While you’re walking, look for little treasures and gifts that speak to you – acorns, feathers, or smooth stones – and bring them back to your altar. Don’t bring anything burdensome on this walk , leave work and stress at home.
This is a grounding exercise disguised as a mini adventure, and it’s free, which is a win in my book.
Bonus points if you leave an offering like seeds or flowers to honor the land.
manifest under the moon
If Valentine’s Day falls on a clear night, take a moment to connect with the moon.
Even if it’s just through your window, if not on the walk we talked about a moment ago. She is always there, watching, ready to listen to you. Close your eyes and attune.
Write down what you want to call into your life – whether it’s self-love, abundance, or better boundaries – and release it into the universe by burning or burying the paper.
If the moon’s hidden behind clouds, don’t stress. Even when you can’t see her, she is there. If you have a hard time when she is obscured, hold a crystal like selenite or moonstone and let your intentions radiate out into the cosmos.
run a bath that is all about you
At the end of your night, I invite you to draw a bath. Pull out all the stops here, you deserve nothing but the best.
Light some candles, toss some rose petals into the tub along with any other of your favorite herbs, and add a few drops of essential oils like lavender, jasmine, or ylang-ylang. Sprinkle in Epsom salts to detox all the nonsense you’ve dealt with lately, and soak while you meditate on how amazing you are. Oat milk is also lovely for the skin.
Pour a glass of herbal tea, or your favorite wine. I prefer mead, so if you do too, now is a perfect time to open up a bottle.
When I take baths, I add full moon water. It feels different, and if you haven’t before, I highly recommend.
wind down your night
At the end of your night, take your time.
Make sure that bath is long and luxurious. Be leisurely in your ritual for bed, apply your skincare and hair products with care. I like to apply a little perfume – I know, a little weird, but there is something to be said about going to bed smelling like your favorite perfume. I wear a woodsy, mossy, incense heavy perfume, and it just puts me into a blissful and intentional mindset.
I think that rituals for self love are vital, especially in an age where the occult is back in the public eye and community guillotine. As the world changes, we must hold on to our beliefs, and small, intentional acts like this remind us of why we do it.
I wish you all luck, my friends, and a very happy Valentine’s Day.
